Negotiation on SummaryShelf

Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

Fri, 28 Jul 2023 00:00:00 +0000

Negotiation isn’t an argument you win with better logic. Chris Voss, who spent decades talking people out of hostage situations for the FBI, treats it as emotional reconnaissance. The person across the table—whether they’re holding a hostage or holding out on your salary—isn’t a spreadsheet weighing options. They’re moved by fear, by the need to feel understood, and above all by the urge not to lose. Your job isn’t to out-reason them; it’s to draw out what they actually want, make them feel safe enough to say it, and use that intelligence to reach a better deal than any tidy compromise.

Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High

Sun, 28 Jan 2024 00:00:00 +0000

The instant someone feels disrespected in a heated conversation, the real subject changes. You think you’re still talking about the budget, the missed deadline, or how to handle a teenager, but the other person has quietly switched topics to defending their dignity. Nothing you say lands until safety is restored. The authors distill twenty years of research on more than 100,000 people into a single finding: the skill that separates strong leaders, teammates, and partners from everyone else is the ability to handle emotionally and politically risky conversations without setting off that defensive shutdown.