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Tue, 31 Dec 2024 00:00:00 +0000

Your love life probably isn’t as unpredictable as it feels. According to Amir Levine and Rachel Heller, most romantic patterns follow a script set by attachment style—the wired way you handle closeness—and there are only three main scripts. Roughly half of adults are secure: comfortable with intimacy, steady when a partner needs space. About 20 percent are anxious: hungry for closeness but forever scanning for signs of abandonment. Around 25 percent are avoidant: they read intimacy as a threat to independence and keep partners at arm’s length. The single most common source of romantic misery is the collision between the last two, where one person’s reach for connection sets off the other’s retreat, again and again.

Amir Levine and Rachel Heller on SummaryShelf

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